There’s a new Witcher saga afoot. Everybody except CD Projekt Red is calling it The Witcher 4, and its reveal makes this the perfect time to reminisce over the best Witcher games moments. Whether or not it’s a continuation of the timeline we’ve been following for three games (and a CCG spinoff) now or not, expectations couldn’t be much higher. It’s the next in the bloodline of one of gaming’s highest-regarded RPGs of all time.
Whether you failed to get round to playing those three critically acclaimed RPGs yet, you’ve forgotten all the best bits, or you just want to enjoy the memory of them to tide you over until they release more info on The Witcher 4, these moments from the trilogy of games will scratch your itch.
“Yen, let go of the mane.”
“I know you. I let go, you throw us off.”
They say great writing is about specifics. Try to convey something universal about love by speaking in broad terms and it’ll bounce off the reader, but tell them about something incredibly personal and particular, and they’ll see the universal element for themselves.
And while few of us can claim to have made love to our lost flame on a giant stuffed unicorn – wait, you have? We feel so vanilla – the image itself is so incredibly esoteric that it’s burned into any Witcher player’s consciousness. Geralt and Yennefer’s relationship is portrayed with uncharacteristic tenderness for the medium, Geralt the more emotionally open, even needy, of the pair, Yennefer always aloof. That groundwork’s laid in the dialogue, so when the time comes for what should by rights be an excruciating intercourse scene, you’re not thinking about how embarrassing it would be for someone to walk in and glance at your monitor right now. You’re not even thinking of the mechanics of doing the deed while sitting on a hooven cryptid. You’re thinking about the characters, what they must be feeling, what this means for their relationship. It’s an essential part of The Witcher games, and though it’s not always above base titillation, it often elevates itself beyond it.
“Folks don’t expect Witchers to save them from themselves.”
Possibly the best example of The Witcher 3’s multi-branch, consequence-laden quest system, and certainly one of the thematically darker moments along Geralt’s journey. The Bloody Baron has info on Ciri’s whereabouts, but he’s not coughing it up until you help him find his missing wife and daughter. It seems like a simple search of the castle is in order. It seems like it’ll be a few minutes of a quest.
Hours later, after hearing grueling accounts of spousal abuse, miscarriage, and getting your hands dirty in rituals to transform Botchlings into Lubberkins, you don’t feel any sense of neat quest completion. You feel sullied by the whole encounter, second-guessing your choices and feeling profoundly sad for all involved. We’ve come a long way from clearing out the cellar of giant rat infestations.
“No tears, Boussy. One day you’ll be king, and kings do not weep.”
The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings begins with a grand prologue that really makes the game’s title abundantly clear. Up until the point that King Foltest meets his end with a dagger at his throat though, it’s a genuine surprise to see someone telegraphed as a major character offed so abruptly.
Looking back, the clues were all there. Stoic exchange with his children: present. Weepy strings adagio playing the whole time, even when the scene seems ostensibly happy: present and correct. Mysterious hooded hunched figure of the type who always turn out to be treacherous wretches in medieval fiction? Present, correct, and packing a dagger.
There’s slow-mo. There’s abstract shots of Foltest and his assassin against the black nothingness. There’s no shame in crying.
“What’s wrong?”
“I- I can’t bring myself to say it.”
It doesn’t have the same polish and top-tier voice acting as later installments, but CD Projekt’s original Witcher certainly delivers that deep lore the series is famed for. And in this particular side quest, it seems determined to reference every bit of folklore inside and out of the literary source materials.
On the surface, you’re just helping a local courtesan to find a cure for her boyfriend’s lycanthropy (a more polite way of saying he turns into a bloodthirsty werewolf of a full moon). The shopping list of ingredients required for such a cure, though, takes Geralt to local druids, the Order of the Flaming Rose and several other alchemical stockists, all of whom have something to throw into the mixing pot of fairy tales. It’s beauty and the beast, yes, but there are also shades of Hans Christian Andersen, monster movies, and superhero tropes. Typically engrossing storytelling, even in the debut game.
“Blue or green, it’s all the same to me. They’re *********, all of them!”
A night out in the tavern that gets out of hand. A great premise for a quest, but not usually pulled off with any great finesse by games. You’re either playing endless darts with Roman in GTA IV or ‘blacking out’ abruptly in Skyrim. Where’s the fun?
It’s in this quest, that’s where. What begins as a polite acceptance of an invitation to drink with some local soldiers escalates quicker than a night out in a Todd Phillips movie, quickly moving on to knife-throwing competitions, expletive-laden shouting matches, fist fights, arm wrestling, and, inevitably, waking up naked on a riverbank the following morning with a neck tattoo. I don’t care if you’re Keith Richards – that’s a big night in anyone’s books.
With characteristic detail, you can bribe a local woman to fill you in on the previous night’s events and even pay to have your unsightly piece of new body art removed. Or just own your mistakes and keep it. Since your memory’s completely wiped from that night, it’s at least a handy reminder.
“She’ll not abandon you. You humans are so… impractical.”
Often it’s the little moments that impress in The Witcher 3. The bits you feel like you stumbled upon, that few players would see during their playthrough, but that the developers worked hard on anyway. The battle of Kaer Morhen is not one of those moments.
This is as big, bombastic, spectacular and brimming with player choices as the entire saga gets. For this grand stand-off against the Wild Hunt, firstly you have a choice of who’s in the army you bring in to battle with you, all depending on prior decisions. Those allies give you a choice of different approaches, and in the heat of battle itself you see opportunities to save people – or not.
Your perspective’s shifting between characters. The Wild Hunt is teleporting in through a series of portals. Everyone you ever cared about is here with you on the battlefield, and The Witcher 3 does not squander that opportunity for emotional moments. Even if it wasn’t so cinematic, this would still be a highlight in terms of story impact. The fact it’s presented to stylishly only heightens The Witcher 3’s status.
“Cool, a minigame” – you, 2015
“What’s this RPG doing in my CCG?” – you, 2022
The first time a ruddy-faced tavern dweller offers to tell you the rules of Gwent in The Witcher 3, you think: here we go. Another half-baked distraction, just like all the open-world games are trying to throw in. No doubt I’ll have to go off and find a bunch of collectibles or something.
Then you sit down and play, and everything else – Ciri, Yennefer, the Wild Hunt, the griffin, the war – leaves your head completely. There is only this card game now, and you must win it.
Gwent’s got some details in common with Blizzard’s Hearthstone, but it plays sufficiently differently that it would demand a Hearthstone player’s full attention. It’s also devastatingly simple to grasp: just have a higher number on the battlefield than your opponent.
What a slippery slope that is to shirking your important Witcher duties and touring Oxenfurt for rare cards.
Written by Phil Iwaniuk on behalf of GLHF.
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