PC Gamer is supported by its audience. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Learn more
By published
Leaving behind this exceptional world and my community of fellow Tarnished was Elden Ring’s greatest challenge. 
Elden Ring bosses: How to beat them
Elden Ring map fragments: Reveal the world
Elden Ring weapons: Arm yourself
Elden Ring armor: The best sets
I finally finished my first playthrough of Elden Ring last week, which feels like a bit of an achievement considering that I’ve also been suffering from a particularly nasty stomach flu. I just wanted to keep my head in a bucket, but the Lands Between beckoned, and with the end so close I had to keep playing in those gaps between unpleasant eruptions. The real challenge, though, was finishing something that’s consumed my life for over a month.
Typically, I find it very difficult to focus on a single game. I’m easily distracted, and my constantly expanding game library provides nearly endless distractions. There’s been a cavalcade of seductive new releases, and all the old stalwarts, my online obsessions, trying to tempt me away. But this time I stayed the course. 
It can be an obtuse pain in the arse at times, and at no point did any of the patches alleviate the significant performance issues, which should have annoyed me so much more given my recent expensive PC upgrade. But these imperfections became largely invisible the moment I booted the game up—drowned out by the parade of striking grotesques, cheesy build experiments and the overwhelming sense of camaraderie that comes from pushing through a challenging game with millions of other people.
That last part made it particularly hard to say goodbye. I’ve only just started socialising offline again recently, in small doses, and throughout the pandemic ordeal gaming has really been an incredible salve, second only to getting a puppy in November. And Elden Ring’s where that peaked—and even if I hardly dabbled in the multiplayer side of things, it’s still been a deeply communal experience.
All of my victories and successes I share with the folk who tirelessly wrote guides, the Tarnished discussing build ideas on Reddit, the friends and colleagues giving me advice on Twitter and PCG’s own Slack channel.
The older I get the less inclined I am to join online communities, especially gaming ones. Elden Ring did not inspire me to do a 180, but simply existing online and playing Elden Ring means you’re inevitably going to become part of this loose affiliation of Tarnished spread across the world. Even if you’ve managed to avoid social media, if you’re playing online at the very least you’re going to see the messages and ghosts of all these other adventurers.
It does feel like being part of something, with its own language and eccentricities and sense of humour, elevated by the fact that, damn, this game is one tough bastard. You’ve got to rely on your fellow Tarnished. Sure, some of them are arseholes who drop messages on top of Sites of Grace or beneath ladders, responsible for so many unnecessary deaths, and there are a lot of falsehoods scrawled on dungeon floors or on the edges of cliffs—but that just gives the rest of us some villains to revile. The trolls bring us together.
As I approached my destiny in the Erdtree last week, I stepped back. There were a few optional bosses I still needed to tackle, and plenty of spells and weapons I wanted to collect for my NG+ adventures, but really I just wasn’t remotely ready to leave the Lands Between and all the people still playing. Because I knew that, while I absolutely cannot wait to play again, it’s not going to be with the same intensity. I’ll dip in and out while playing other things. The new player experience is a singular one that can’t be recaptured.
So I left the Erdtree. It was only then that I took on what’s considered the game’s trickiest boss, Malenia, and boy did she live up to her nasty rep. She was just one of a multitude of memorable encounters I had while I was technically mopping things up. Even this late in the game, Elden Ring continued to send me down rabbit holes, delving into hidden areas and getting very lost. I changed my build a whole bunch of times, too. Amid all of this, I completely forgot I was only a few big fights away from watching the credits roll.
When I finally did it, with no more flasks, a dead mimic tear and only a sliver of health, I was body-slammed by all that joy and relief. I woke up the dog to demand a high five. And then I had to throw up all over the bathroom because stomach flu doesn’t give a shit about my achievements. But even as my throat burned and my guts felt like they were being crushed, I was elated. I’d held off for ages, but it felt bloody amazing to finally become Elden Lord, even if it meant I’d have to move on.
Of course, now I have no idea what to do with myself. Sleep, probably. Apparently some games have come out? I guess I could see what they’re all about. But actually I’d prefer to play nothing for a wee while. I still need to digest Elden Ring after 150 hours of chewing. And I suspect other games would fail to hold my attention, or I’d spend too much time comparing the experience to the sublime one I’ve just enjoyed.
That said, I do have Sekiro installed…
Fraser is the UK online editor and has actually met The Internet in person. With over a decade of experience, he’s been around the block a few times, serving as a freelancer, news editor and prolific reviewer. Strategy games have been a 30-year-long obsession, from tiny RTSs to sprawling political sims, and he never turns down the chance to rave about Total War or Crusader Kings. He’s also been known to set up shop in the latest MMO and likes to wind down with an endlessly deep, systemic RPG. These days, when he’s not editing, he can usually be found writing features that are 1,000 words too long. He thinks labradoodles are the best dogs but doesn’t get to write about them much.
Sign up to get the best content of the week, and great gaming deals, as picked by the editors.
Thank you for signing up to PC Gamer. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.
PC Gamer is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.
© Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.
