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Now we just need gamer toast
No one ever thinks of the gamers. We have had to suffer through decades of disrespect, forced to eat regular, non-gamer meals with the rest of the normies. They say that some foods are the «breakfast of champions», but what about the Smash Bros. champions, huh? What about the people who always win at Mario Kart Grand Prix 200CC Baby Park, Mr Kellogg? Will nobody help the poor gamers?
Yes. Our saviour is here, and it’s peanut butter-shaped.
The nut butter in question is called «Jobbie Pong», a name that was almost certainly not focus tested in Scotland, and is made as a collaboration between Jobbie, a Malaysian peanut butter company, and Zotac Gaming Malaysia, a PC parts manufacturer.
The name is actually a combination of the Jobbie founders’ names — Joseph and Debbie — plus a reference to Pong, the video game. And the butter itself is a combination, too: A crunchy peanut mousse made from dry roasted peanuts, mixed with freeze-dried blueberries and strawberries to get that PB&J taste in one jar.
Jobbie Pong is supposed to be eaten by the spoon, we’re told, and used in the same way that you would eat an energy bar — except for gaming. The blueberries contain carotenoids, which are good for the eyes (for long hours of screen time) and the strawberries are rich in antioxidants, helping to improve cognitive functions (for faster reaction times).
The individual jars cost RM 56, or about $13 / £10, but we’re pretty sure we could claim this as an expense. Because it’s for gamers.
[source jobbienutbutter.com]
About Kate Gray
Formerly of Official Nintendo Magazine, GameSpot, and Xbox UK, you can now find Kate’s writing all over the internet. She moved to Canada a few years ago, but gets tea imported from England, because she has good priorities.
Comments (92)
Oh my god this can’t be real. Jobbie pong? Good luck trying to sell this in Scotland!
Somebody wanna explain the name issue to the non Scottish folks?
It also looks like the name is just PONG or jobbie x zotag gaming pong…is that still bad?
Edit: nvm it’s Jobbie’s Pong.
Try not to cringe challenge.
@Ryu_Niiyama Jobbie means poopoo (Scotland only) and pong means smelly (in the south east of England at least, not sure about the rest of the uk)
@ralphdibny Interesting. Well I suppose people in those regions will get a laugh.
@ralphdibny Pong means horrid smell in english.
A BROWN SPREAD CALLED JOBBIE
i cannot
@Ryu_Niiyama yep ?
@nessisonett ???
@nessisonett with little crunchy fruit nuggets in it!!
@Xiovanni Does that mean the original game Pong wasn’t popular in the UK? Honestly curious.
That being said I will see myself out as I’m sure the jokes are going to get worse. Have fun with your wordplay everyone.
We’re becoming a separate species.
play fattest
I fail to see how you can eat this while gaming…
It would need to be more of a liquid and used with a straw as hands are not free…
@Ryu_Niiyama I’m sure Pong was popular, people would’ve made the same jokes as they did with the Wii
Well, thank goodness that it isn’t what it says on the jar! Or… IS IT?
Removed – inappropriate
@TheBigK
One always feels a sense of relief after a good jobbie.
It reminds me of when GAME did a Xmas dinner on a can for gamers. I can’t help but get the impression that many think gamers are just subhuman scum.
@Ryu_Niiyama Pong was certainly well-known in the UK, and still well-remembered among us Gen X’ers, at least. To a lot of people under 30 I’d guess the British English definition would probably come to mind first, though.
I’m somehow reminded of ‘Bachelor Chow’ from Futurama.
This sounds like it would go well with some toe jam!
THEY COULDN’T HAVE NAMED IT ANYTHING ELSE???
Looks… watery.
Prefer regular peanut butter on my sandwich, and even more cashewnut variant too because it’s much nicer.
@scottishwildcat Gen Z, Gen X, Gen… what?
Maybe it’s just me but I hear these terms so often and don’t get their meaning?
#GamerNutGate
@Rayquaza2510 I’ve tried quite a few gamer nut butters and they are usually pretty watery
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….
Hahah this is the dumbest ever. Seeing “gamers” targeted as a marketing demo for random, unrelated products like this is the cringiest thing going. I’ll file this next to Valkyrae’s gamer make up line.
I wonder if it also tastes like a true gamer, like sweat.
It is a joke, don’t get mad
EDIT: After seeing the spoon photo (and I wish I hadn’t), all I can say is that it does look like this nut butter comes the nuts.
In regards to the need of a gamer toast, «You know what they say!»
shoulda called it deez nutz butters ….
Or you could… you know, eat fruit? That also works
@res1080p gotteeeem
@KateGray you gotta have the crunchy bits … other wise is it really jar full of true jobbie..?
This is obviously dumb but it’s not like I wouldn’t eat it.
I’m surprised there isn’t any stupid RGB light strips, aggressive pointed triangles or obnoxious red & black lettering.
I have always wanted to have my own gamer sh–er I mean Peanut butter to eat! ?
I’m scared I will be dumber after reading this article.
"Nut Butter for gamers"
lmao
Jobbie means […] (Scotland only) and pong means […]
@ralphdibny Where were you when I was trying to comprehend Kate’s early articles on this site? I mean, I’m certainly grateful to learn about her culture through her writing. It’s just… well, I learned some time ago to keep an Urban Dictionary tab open when I saw her byline.
Science, politics, sociology, these things are hard. I don’t often expect to be challenged this way when I read about gaming…
Lmao that name tho.
@GrailUK We from the I.Q counter club regret to inform you that your I.Q has went from Dumb, to Patrick.
@Enigk Toejam & Earl: Return to Planet Jobbie Pong.
THEY MADE MY USERNAME A REALITY!
Gamers Nut Butter
No thanks….
@Snatcher HAHAHAH!
???? x 100.
More high calorie junk food for people that sit on their backsides is just what we need.
Still waiting on PeanutButterGamer to review this
The product photo with the spoon looks disgusting, and achieves the opposite of the intended effect.
And why Pong? That game is 50 years old. Not exactly a timely reference.
Laughing so much right now… oh god XD … i need to breath XD
@CANOEberry haha my apologies for being late to the party. To be fair though, NL do use a lot of British colloquialisms across the board. It often makes me laugh and it does make the site feel more homely amongst the swathes of American news outlets that come from across the pond.
To be honest, I didn’t know what a Jobbie was until I became good friends with a Scottish person a few years ago. I do love hearing new words (or at least new meanings for old words ?)
If you are interested in more language quirks, I’d check out Tom Scott’s channel on YouTube. He does a whole series on interesting facets of different languages.
My biggest "living in a bubble" moment came when I found out so many countries think peanut butter & jelly sandwiches are gross.
Aren’t gamers known for eating ***** food?
Well this is just the cringiest of pandering.
Gamer nut butter…
If Breath of the Wild 2 gets released this year then you’ll see plenty more lol.
Isn’t Pong still copyrighted?
…So they finally did it, they turned PeanutButterGamer into actual peanut butter for gamer…s.
@Noid : It’s the game that would be copyrighted, but the name would be trademarked, with Atari being the owner of said trademark. You can’t really copyright a name, but rather the concept/product/entity that it represents (in this case, the game Pong), such as Switch being a Nintendo trademark (but no-one would ever claim that Nintendo owns the word «switch»).
Welcome to 2022, the year of ridiculous food brands…. This goes right alongside Snoop Dogg’s Hot dogs he’s planning on selling….
@Silly_G
Pong is also an every day word, unless Atari are up for some Monster Cable litigation fun
https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/amp/Monster-fiercely-protects-its-name-Cable-2675907.php
Nur butter huh?
Chase your gamer nut butter with some gamer bath water.
Jobbie Pong lol. Sounds like one of Delboy’s contacts.
"Hey gamers, want some nut butter?"
"I need an adult"
I’ll stick to my mug of specialty coffee for my gaming sessions.
How is this gamer?
Using a spoon? Nonsense! Eat it with your hands so you get a nice layer on there to reduce palm sweating and allow for a better buttery grip on your controller like a TRUE gamer!
@UglyCasanova Bahahahahaha
@Rayquaza2510 refers to the naming breakdown of generations (ie based on when you were born but groups the life events and trends that you likely have in common with your age group.) most people use them incorrectly like referring to young people as millennials even though the youngest millennial would be in their late 20s (26) as opposed to a teenager and older millennials are in our 30s and 40s. A quick google search will give you the age ranges of each currently living gen.
Nice, I feel like puking only at the sight of that stuff.
I’m a nut butter fanatic, but this looks very unappealing.
“Gamer nut butter” you seriously couldn’t have worded that better?
Hopefully they make gaming pickles next.
Nice this will go well along with my G Fuel
@KateGray I live in Singapore and was able to order a jar of Jobbie Pong without having to pay exorbitant shipping fees. I’m genuinely curious about it and would be happy to ahem review this nut butter for Nintendolife.
After reading the words «Gamer Nut Butter» in the headline, I knew I had to congratulate @KateGray on discovering the worst food name of all time. After reading the article and being informed it’s actually called Jobbie Pong, my soul departed my body as I realized just how little I comprehended of pain, and sank into the hitherto unfathomable abyss of existential despair.
Also I visited their website out of morbid curiosity and I’m pretty sure it gave me a virus. Not a computer virus, just a virus.
This is going to be the next call if duty voice chat insult " you jobbie pong!" Or " I gave your mom my gamer nut butter, after that noscope" the possibilities are endless. Side note, the photo with the spoon is disgusting, why not show it on a sandwich?
There’s much that can be said here, plenty of which has been said already. To me, the most exciting thing is that PC and component manufacturer Zotac is wanting to sell food products. I have a fanless Zotac mini PC and I love it. Selling me fanless nut butters is the logical next step, provided one does not know much about logic.
What’s the etymology on ‘jobbie’?
@SteveDaSteve I love this so much.
Eat this while playing Ring Fit, to offset the cholesterol.
At least it isn’t made from gamers like I had misread lmao.
its peanut butter except it tastes, smells and looks like a great big hairy jobbie!
I can confirm that this spread really does work. I ate it while playing Pong and I got my highest score ever. I hope they make a spread for Super Breakout next!
Gamer nut butter is a phrase I do not want in my brain.
But peanuts aren’t nuts, so why are they calling it ‘nut butter’ instead of ‘peanut butter’?
Absolutely hilarious. Can’t wait to see people endorsing it with massive Jobbie shirts.
Ok straight up- I’m a peanut butter fanatic.
I eat the YumButter brand by the spoonful.
This article is hilariously sarcastic. It’s probably overpriced, and the people explaining why it’s not a great name in Scotland makes it even funnier.
It does sound good though. It’s probably overpriced however.
@JayJ Nah, that was nasty mountain dew flavored ramen, complete with green egg.
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