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She just wanted to be able to play Elden Ring.
Maybe you’re familiar with the subgenre of internet cooking videos that teach you how to make some horrifying concoction that is invariably suspended in aspic, or has way too much processed American cheese jammed somewhere it doesn’t belong, or is wrapped entirely in meat that is then wrapped in several layer of different meat. The kind of stuff that Kalen would rebuke in the name of Jesus (opens in new tab). Savannah Mortenson presumably watched those videos and saw an opportunity.
After finding out her PC wasn’t quite up to the task of running Elden Ring, Savannah turned to the internet to help. She opened a ko.fi account (opens in new tab) for donations and started filming TikToks of «eating food in a cursed manner until someone buys me parts to build a gaming PC». Among the highlights: a video in which she blends a fried steak to make a sauce, then pours it over a gelatin steak made out of steak sauce and mayonnaise. The deadpan facial expression really sells it.
i am going to fucking vomit pic.twitter.com/NHzEAHyEg9April 5, 2022
One of our colleagues at GamesRadar (opens in new tab) spoke to Savannah, who said that the worst of her cursed meals by far «both flavor and texture wise», was the one that combined a McDonald’s hamburger, caramel iced coffee, and vodka in a blender (opens in new tab). Unbelievably, she made it through that, like all of them, without vomiting. The best? A full English breakfast and a can of Foster’s beer (opens in new tab), also blended together and drunk through a straw. It was apparently «really really good.»
Over the course of 17 days of this nightmare, during which Savannah’s videos have been shared on Twitter and mailing lists, she finally has her gaming PC. She’ll be playing Elden Ring and streaming it on Twitch (opens in new tab), though in a final video (opens in new tab) she says she’ll finish L.A. Noire first «because I started it and I’m really enjoying it.» She also says that she’s thinking about carrying on with the cursed food series but using it to raise money for charity. «If I do continue it, it’s gonna be on a weekly basis. Certainly not daily. It is time-consuming and exhausting.»
Jody’s first computer was a Commodore 64, so he remembers having to use a code wheel to play Pool of Radiance. A former music journalist who interviewed everyone from Giorgio Moroder to Trent Reznor, Jody also co-hosted Australia’s first radio show about videogames, Zed Games. He’s written for Rock Paper Shotgun, The Big Issue, GamesRadar, Zam, Glixel, and Playboy.com, whose cheques with the bunny logo made for fun conversations at the bank. Jody’s first article for PC Gamer was published in 2015, he edited PC Gamer Indie from 2017 to 2018, and actually did play every Warhammer videogame.
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